Infidelity - What about the kids?

Recently, a friend's marriage was on the rocks. After 10 years of marriage and 2 kids, the husband cheated on her. Had an affair with a girl in her twenties. The affair had gone on for 2 years before the wife found out.

Like any other woman, my friend was devastated. And so I thought she would do the most logical thing to do - dump the scum. But she surprised us all by choosing to forgive him and working things out. Of course you might say that she's doing it for the kids. But is it really so? How do you work things out with your life partner when something as big as cheating takes place, especially when you already have kids together?

I do not blame my friend if she really wants to work things out with her husband because she does not want a divorce to affect the children. BUT, this guy had the cheek to say that he now finds their children more of a hindrance to the relationship with the wife. Well, the thing about kids is that, once you have them, you have them for life! How could you, as a father, choose to chuck your children aside after you discover taking care of them is not as easy as you thought it would be?! I bet it is just an excuse you use so that you can leave your wife with the children because you rather spend time with your twenty-year-old fling.

People often say that affairs of the heart are difficult to understand. You can never choose who to fall in love with or fall out of love with. But when there are kids involved, how do you know what to do or what not to do? Is my friend being fair to her kids by asking her husband to stay with her in the marriage? Will he be able to accept the kids as they are and not find them a hindrance to the relationship he is trying to salvage with the wife?

A divorce can affect a child negatively. At the same time, if the relationship is not working out, kids are smart enough to notice that. I guess if a divorce really needs to take place, then you should talk it out openly with the kids. Let them know that even though mummy and daddy do not feel the same way about each other, mummy and daddy will still love you guys as much. Of course, the mummy and daddy need to work things out and try as much as they can to be civil to one another for the sake of the children.

I know it is easier said than done. I wouldn't know what to do either if such a thing should befall me *touch wood*. But I really hope that whatever my friend and her husband does, they are doing it for their kids.