Dear Princess,
When I first laid eyes on you, you were a fragile tiny being. I looked at you and whispered into your ear, "Tiny one, this is mummy." You opened your eyes slightly as if saying, "I know, mom." Or so I like to believe.
Even though I had been talking to you and singing to you the whole nine months you were in my womb, addressing myself as Mummy to you sounded so foreign. I knew I wanted you but I was scared that I could not love you as much as you would have wanted me too. You were afterall, new to me. I worry that I had to get to know you to love you.
But you, you made it easy for me to love. How could I not love you? You feel so right in my arms. Your smell, your smile, your touch are all heavenly blissful to me. My worries were unfounded.
I remembered when I first brought you home, I kept staring at you when you were asleep. I could not leave you alone not even for a second. At night, I could not sleep for fear that I might not see you again. Each time I'll wake up and check your breathing to make sure that you are still there. In the day, I would just stare and look at you sleep and check your breathing again and again for fear of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome. Was it post-natal depression? I seriously do not know. All I know was that I wanted you so much and have learnt to love you as a part of me. Your granny had to pull me away from you and reassure me that it would alright to leave you to sleep.
As you grow, you are the light of mummy and daddy's life. Your laughter, your smile, your hug, I can never live without. Hearing you call me "Mammy" for the first time touched my heart deeply. Hearing you first say, "I love you, Mummy," was another episode that will stay etched in my mind. Your hug is like a drug I have to feed on every day.
But my darling, Mummy has this fear. I fear that one day, you'll forget to hug me. I fear that one day, you'll no longer want to say "I love you, Mummy." I fear that one day, you'll hate me for not allowing you to do the things you might want to do.
And when that day comes, even if I tell you that I forbid because I love you, your teenage heart and mind might not choose to believe.
But sweetheart, do know that I have your best interests at heart. Do believe that Mummy loves you whole-heartedly.
Should the day I fear come, I hope that opportunity arises for you to read this letter. Because I love you, my daughter and you will always be there in my heart. I promise you.
Love,
Your Mummy
Thursday, July 1, 2010
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
On conceiving Princess
My eldest sis-in-law gave birth to a bundling baby boy on 17 February 2007. My parents, my brothers and I were elated. He is my parents' first grandchild and my first nephew. I was genuinely happy for my brother and sis-in-law. Though I wanted a child badly, having a nephew sort of lessen the pain a little.
I remember when we visited sis-in-law in the hospital, her stepmum was there. She knew about my miscarriages. Before she left, she touched my tummy and said, "Take some blessings from here and may you conceive".
Shortly after, I did conceive. But upon conceiving Princess, I was hit with a turmoil of emotions I wasn't ready to feel. I was happy that I was pregnant. But I did not want to be too happy. I was scared that if I get too happy, I might be disappointed should I miscarry. I was scared yet I do not want to think about it.
Hubby was not spared of this too. I forbid hubby to talk about it. When he tried talking about my pregnancy, I would shut him off. I remembered sis-in-law congratulated me when she learnt about my pregnancy from mum. I broke down and told her that I did not want to talk about it.
Every ultrasound scan I prayed for a heartbeat. Once we hit the 3mths mark, I was really hoping that the foetus in me was still alive. I remembered checking my breast for soreness because the soreness actually soothed me into believing that I was still pregnant. At my 3mths ultrasound scan, they could not detect the baby via the scan on my tummy so they had to do a vaginal scan. Hubby was asked to leave the room. I was so scared when the radiologists was trying to detect the foetal heartbeat. Finally the found it. I cried and they asked me why and I told them about my previous two miscarriages. They assured me that everything would be fine.
Throughout my pregnancy, I spoke about it little. Towards my full-term was when I was a little more confident.
During my 38th week scan, it was revealed that my amniotic fluid was low. I had to be induced. I was already 2cm dilated. When the broke my waterbag, I was 2.5cm dilated. Contractions was induced and within 1.5 to 2hours, I gave birth to Princess. No epidural was administered. I remembered when the gynae was stitching me up, she told me that for my next birth, I better hurry to the hospital coz I might just deliver in the taxi. The staff nurse and her commented that labour was quite fast for me.
Once stitches were done, the gynae and the nurses left the room to give hubby, Princess and I some alone time. I remembered looking into her eyes and feeling a rush of love going through me. This was what was growing inside me. She's so beautiful, so soft and so small.
Princess taught me how to love an undying love. She taught me how to feel for someone else like I've never felt before. She taught me how to care for another soul. I love her so much I could really feel it. This is what it feels like to have a child. This is love.
I remember when we visited sis-in-law in the hospital, her stepmum was there. She knew about my miscarriages. Before she left, she touched my tummy and said, "Take some blessings from here and may you conceive".
Shortly after, I did conceive. But upon conceiving Princess, I was hit with a turmoil of emotions I wasn't ready to feel. I was happy that I was pregnant. But I did not want to be too happy. I was scared that if I get too happy, I might be disappointed should I miscarry. I was scared yet I do not want to think about it.
Hubby was not spared of this too. I forbid hubby to talk about it. When he tried talking about my pregnancy, I would shut him off. I remembered sis-in-law congratulated me when she learnt about my pregnancy from mum. I broke down and told her that I did not want to talk about it.
Every ultrasound scan I prayed for a heartbeat. Once we hit the 3mths mark, I was really hoping that the foetus in me was still alive. I remembered checking my breast for soreness because the soreness actually soothed me into believing that I was still pregnant. At my 3mths ultrasound scan, they could not detect the baby via the scan on my tummy so they had to do a vaginal scan. Hubby was asked to leave the room. I was so scared when the radiologists was trying to detect the foetal heartbeat. Finally the found it. I cried and they asked me why and I told them about my previous two miscarriages. They assured me that everything would be fine.
Throughout my pregnancy, I spoke about it little. Towards my full-term was when I was a little more confident.
During my 38th week scan, it was revealed that my amniotic fluid was low. I had to be induced. I was already 2cm dilated. When the broke my waterbag, I was 2.5cm dilated. Contractions was induced and within 1.5 to 2hours, I gave birth to Princess. No epidural was administered. I remembered when the gynae was stitching me up, she told me that for my next birth, I better hurry to the hospital coz I might just deliver in the taxi. The staff nurse and her commented that labour was quite fast for me.
Once stitches were done, the gynae and the nurses left the room to give hubby, Princess and I some alone time. I remembered looking into her eyes and feeling a rush of love going through me. This was what was growing inside me. She's so beautiful, so soft and so small.
Princess taught me how to love an undying love. She taught me how to feel for someone else like I've never felt before. She taught me how to care for another soul. I love her so much I could really feel it. This is what it feels like to have a child. This is love.
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
2nd miscarriage
I really wanted to conceive again and after the 1st miscarriage, I bought a pregnancy test kit every month to test for pregnancy. I was checking every single time I missed my period for a day. I was getting my period every month but my cycle was sometimes 28 days and sometimes 30 days.
1st Nov 2006 - I found out that I was pregnant with my 2nd child. This time round, I was so careful. I walked slowly. I ate everything right. Avoided cold drinks. I had my own gynae and she prescribed hormone pills to strengthen the pregnancy. I took it religiously.
6 weeks passed and the baby was still there. I was so happy. No bleeding. Things were going on fine.
13 Dec 2006 - I went for my 11th week appointment and a scan was done. There was no fetal heartbeat detected. The scan showed that the foetus stopped growing at 9 weeks. The foetus had been dead in my womb for 2 weeks. How could I not have known that. I then started to recall that there was one day when I woke up from my sleep and felt as if I had lost something but I did not know what it was. Then I also remembered that my breast didn't feel sore anymore. Those were the signs I've missed.
I cried when my gynae told me that my baby had passed away in my womb. My gynae then. Dr Judy Wong (nice lady) gave me some time to grieve. When I finally gathered myself, I asked her what I should do next. She told me that I could wait for a natural miscarriage to occur or go for evacuation of the uterus. However, the first option has its risks in that it might not occur and there could be an infection. I decided for the latter as the foetus had already been dead in my womb for 2 weeks and I do not want an infection to set in.
The next day, I went for a day surgery. It was a sad procedure as I was on my own. Hubby was not allowed to enter. I remember them inserting a pill to soften the uterus. Thereafter I was in so much pain and was bleeding. I told the nurse about it and I could barely walk. The nurse then wheeled me into the operating theatre. I was then given anaesthetic and was knocked out completely.
When I woke up, I was out of the OT and covered with a thermal blanket. The nurses gave me a hot milo to drink. About an hour later, I was out of there.
The day after the day surgery, I went to Batam to shop. This time round, I did not take any herbs and such. I guess, I was just tired from the emotional rollercoaster ride. I did not want any sympathy. I just wanted to appear strong for everyone around me...
1st Nov 2006 - I found out that I was pregnant with my 2nd child. This time round, I was so careful. I walked slowly. I ate everything right. Avoided cold drinks. I had my own gynae and she prescribed hormone pills to strengthen the pregnancy. I took it religiously.
6 weeks passed and the baby was still there. I was so happy. No bleeding. Things were going on fine.
13 Dec 2006 - I went for my 11th week appointment and a scan was done. There was no fetal heartbeat detected. The scan showed that the foetus stopped growing at 9 weeks. The foetus had been dead in my womb for 2 weeks. How could I not have known that. I then started to recall that there was one day when I woke up from my sleep and felt as if I had lost something but I did not know what it was. Then I also remembered that my breast didn't feel sore anymore. Those were the signs I've missed.
I cried when my gynae told me that my baby had passed away in my womb. My gynae then. Dr Judy Wong (nice lady) gave me some time to grieve. When I finally gathered myself, I asked her what I should do next. She told me that I could wait for a natural miscarriage to occur or go for evacuation of the uterus. However, the first option has its risks in that it might not occur and there could be an infection. I decided for the latter as the foetus had already been dead in my womb for 2 weeks and I do not want an infection to set in.
The next day, I went for a day surgery. It was a sad procedure as I was on my own. Hubby was not allowed to enter. I remember them inserting a pill to soften the uterus. Thereafter I was in so much pain and was bleeding. I told the nurse about it and I could barely walk. The nurse then wheeled me into the operating theatre. I was then given anaesthetic and was knocked out completely.
When I woke up, I was out of the OT and covered with a thermal blanket. The nurses gave me a hot milo to drink. About an hour later, I was out of there.
The day after the day surgery, I went to Batam to shop. This time round, I did not take any herbs and such. I guess, I was just tired from the emotional rollercoaster ride. I did not want any sympathy. I just wanted to appear strong for everyone around me...
The 1st miscarriage
Before I had Princess. I suffered from two miscarriages. It was hard going through all that and I was uncertain whether I could have a child.
My husband and I tied the knot in 2005. On the last day of 2005, I found out that I was pregnant. Hubby and I were estatic.
17 Jan 2006 - I had bleeding. I was in my workplace. I remembered that I was in the toilet, shocked to see the blood. When I left the cubicle, a colleague asked me what was wrong and I told her that I was 6 weeks pregnant and bleeding. She calmly told me to go to KKH 24hr Women's Clinic.
I called hubby and he was in the east (I was in the west). I told him that I would meet him straight at KKH. I called my mum and she was with my aunt and they were around the area of my workplace. So they picked me up and sent me to KKH.
The gynae did a scan and the baby was still there but I was bleeding quite heavily and had to be warded. I was told that it was a threatened miscarriage. I was given a hormone injection on my thigh to strengthen the pregnancy. Thereafter, I could see clots of blood coming out.
The next day, I had to go for another scan and the gynae told me that there is a possibility that the foetus had come out as I was bleeding heavily with clots. True enough, the scan showed that there was no fetal cardiac activity.
I didn't cry when I heard that. But when I called my mum, I started crying. Suddenly the loss seemed real. I was scheduled for a d&c as the were afraid that my body might not have cleared all the clots. I was given a week medical leave.
The worst part was going back to work and having to tell people that I lost the baby. People wanted to comfort me by saying that I was young and could always try again. I know that they were being nice but it didn't make me feel any better. I knew I was young but it does not mean that I have to go through all that.
Worst of all, there were people who kept on asking me what I did that contributed to the miscarriage. Even MIL asked me that. Why ask me what I did??? Of course I would not have done anything to sabotage my pregnancy! I remembered telling hubby at one point that I was so pissed with people asking me that question and that if the next person comes and asks me that then I was going to say that I jumped, danced and skipped around!
Then came the next part where people started to talk about my womb and my body. "Oh, maybe my womb wasn't strong enough." It only made things worst for me emotionally. It made me wonder whether there was anything wrong with me.
I took some post natal herbs as advised by my grandmother so as to strengthen my body. I smiled, laughed and pretended I was fine though deep inside I was still hoping for a baby. Hubby and I tried again and again for a child.
8 Sept 2006 - was the day my 1st child was supposed to be born. The day came. I remembered crying my eyes out. I was still not pregnant by then.
I remembered going visiting and my husband's aunt said, "When are you guys going to have a kid, so-and-so got married after you and they already have a child." That was so insensitive coz she knew about my miscarriage. A child is not something we can just buy off the shelf.
I wanted a kid. I was just not blessed with one yet...
My husband and I tied the knot in 2005. On the last day of 2005, I found out that I was pregnant. Hubby and I were estatic.
17 Jan 2006 - I had bleeding. I was in my workplace. I remembered that I was in the toilet, shocked to see the blood. When I left the cubicle, a colleague asked me what was wrong and I told her that I was 6 weeks pregnant and bleeding. She calmly told me to go to KKH 24hr Women's Clinic.
I called hubby and he was in the east (I was in the west). I told him that I would meet him straight at KKH. I called my mum and she was with my aunt and they were around the area of my workplace. So they picked me up and sent me to KKH.
The gynae did a scan and the baby was still there but I was bleeding quite heavily and had to be warded. I was told that it was a threatened miscarriage. I was given a hormone injection on my thigh to strengthen the pregnancy. Thereafter, I could see clots of blood coming out.
The next day, I had to go for another scan and the gynae told me that there is a possibility that the foetus had come out as I was bleeding heavily with clots. True enough, the scan showed that there was no fetal cardiac activity.
I didn't cry when I heard that. But when I called my mum, I started crying. Suddenly the loss seemed real. I was scheduled for a d&c as the were afraid that my body might not have cleared all the clots. I was given a week medical leave.
The worst part was going back to work and having to tell people that I lost the baby. People wanted to comfort me by saying that I was young and could always try again. I know that they were being nice but it didn't make me feel any better. I knew I was young but it does not mean that I have to go through all that.
Worst of all, there were people who kept on asking me what I did that contributed to the miscarriage. Even MIL asked me that. Why ask me what I did??? Of course I would not have done anything to sabotage my pregnancy! I remembered telling hubby at one point that I was so pissed with people asking me that question and that if the next person comes and asks me that then I was going to say that I jumped, danced and skipped around!
Then came the next part where people started to talk about my womb and my body. "Oh, maybe my womb wasn't strong enough." It only made things worst for me emotionally. It made me wonder whether there was anything wrong with me.
I took some post natal herbs as advised by my grandmother so as to strengthen my body. I smiled, laughed and pretended I was fine though deep inside I was still hoping for a baby. Hubby and I tried again and again for a child.
8 Sept 2006 - was the day my 1st child was supposed to be born. The day came. I remembered crying my eyes out. I was still not pregnant by then.
I remembered going visiting and my husband's aunt said, "When are you guys going to have a kid, so-and-so got married after you and they already have a child." That was so insensitive coz she knew about my miscarriage. A child is not something we can just buy off the shelf.
I wanted a kid. I was just not blessed with one yet...
Thursday, April 29, 2010
Baby Boy or Baby Girl
The issue of the gender of babies goes a long way back. In some cultures, they believe that having a boy will carry on the family line. Some people also believe that it is important to have a balance of boys and girls in the family.
You see, I'm blessed with 2 girls. And I am so glad that I have 2 girls. But somehow, people assume that I might be secretly wishing for a boy. And they are only being nice when they say "It's ok, your next one will be a boy" or "Try for a boy next time round."
Well, here's the big secret: I'm not hoping or wishing for a boy. Not that I have anything against boys. I grew up being the only girl. I had two elder brothers. It's great having brothers. They look out for you and no one dares bully you. But I've always wanted a sister. I wanted someone to share clothes with and share thoughts with. Go shopping together. You don't get these with brothers. So after I had Princess, I really hoped for another girl. Just so that Princess gets to experience sisterhood; one that I never get to experience.
But after having two girls, I'm very comfortable with girls. In fact, if I do want another one, I want a girl again. Not that I'm planning for one. The fact is, the issue of who to take care of the child will come up again. And also, after almost giving birth to Baby in the car, I'm afraid that for the next one, I might give birth in the car or at home!
People don't understand why I do not want a boy. They think I'm hiding behind this lie so as to mask my disappointment of not having a boy. So, I've come up with some reasons why I do not want a boy.
1) I'm very comfortable with girls.
2) I can doll up my girls but not a boy.
3) Reason no. 3 is actually the main reason why I do not want a boy now. It's coz, if I have a boy, then the boy would be lonely as he would be the only boy with 2 elder sisters. Then I would have to try for no. 4 and hope for a boy again. And if I don't have a boy, I would have to try again for no. 5. Coz I would feel guilty for the boy as he would feel what I felt when I was young.
Ok, you might say that I'm thinking too much. Maybe I am. But I just want to be fair for my kids and I want them to be happy. I've tried telling people these reasons but of course, no one believes me. So nowadays, when someone tells me that hopefully my next one will be a boy, I just look at them and smile.
Coz I know, I'm not trying for baby no. 3 anytime soon. The shop is closed...
You see, I'm blessed with 2 girls. And I am so glad that I have 2 girls. But somehow, people assume that I might be secretly wishing for a boy. And they are only being nice when they say "It's ok, your next one will be a boy" or "Try for a boy next time round."
Well, here's the big secret: I'm not hoping or wishing for a boy. Not that I have anything against boys. I grew up being the only girl. I had two elder brothers. It's great having brothers. They look out for you and no one dares bully you. But I've always wanted a sister. I wanted someone to share clothes with and share thoughts with. Go shopping together. You don't get these with brothers. So after I had Princess, I really hoped for another girl. Just so that Princess gets to experience sisterhood; one that I never get to experience.
But after having two girls, I'm very comfortable with girls. In fact, if I do want another one, I want a girl again. Not that I'm planning for one. The fact is, the issue of who to take care of the child will come up again. And also, after almost giving birth to Baby in the car, I'm afraid that for the next one, I might give birth in the car or at home!
People don't understand why I do not want a boy. They think I'm hiding behind this lie so as to mask my disappointment of not having a boy. So, I've come up with some reasons why I do not want a boy.
1) I'm very comfortable with girls.
2) I can doll up my girls but not a boy.
3) Reason no. 3 is actually the main reason why I do not want a boy now. It's coz, if I have a boy, then the boy would be lonely as he would be the only boy with 2 elder sisters. Then I would have to try for no. 4 and hope for a boy again. And if I don't have a boy, I would have to try again for no. 5. Coz I would feel guilty for the boy as he would feel what I felt when I was young.
Ok, you might say that I'm thinking too much. Maybe I am. But I just want to be fair for my kids and I want them to be happy. I've tried telling people these reasons but of course, no one believes me. So nowadays, when someone tells me that hopefully my next one will be a boy, I just look at them and smile.
Coz I know, I'm not trying for baby no. 3 anytime soon. The shop is closed...
Time's Up
Days pass by really quickly nowadays. Baby is coming to 1.5mths old. My maternity leave is drawing to close soon. But the more time I spend with my girls, the less excited I feel about going back to work.
I'm 90% sure that I will extend my leave by taking unpaid leave. The 10% that's holding me back is the fact that if I take unpaid leave, I will have to rely on my savings to cover my expenses for the months I'm not working. I know I have to work or earn money somewhere to cover the expenses but I seriously do not know where to start. There's no one to look after Baby if I return to work.
I read somewhere that worries can kill your milk supply but I'm trying hard to be upbeat about things right now.
I'm 90% sure that I will extend my leave by taking unpaid leave. The 10% that's holding me back is the fact that if I take unpaid leave, I will have to rely on my savings to cover my expenses for the months I'm not working. I know I have to work or earn money somewhere to cover the expenses but I seriously do not know where to start. There's no one to look after Baby if I return to work.
I read somewhere that worries can kill your milk supply but I'm trying hard to be upbeat about things right now.
Monday, April 19, 2010
Meeting Pro-breastfeeding People
We had a family function over at Mom's place yesterday. Got to meet my new little nephew. Last saw him when I gave birth at the hospital. He is so good-looking. He's got dimples and long eyelashes. He's quite tall too. We put him and Baby next to each other. Baby is slightly bigger of course, since she is a full-term baby and nephew was born premature. But he's getting on quite well.
I had a chance to meet people from the extended family who are pro-breastfeeding. It was fun as we were exchanging notes. They made it seem like breastfeeding is a natural thing to do - which of course it is supposed to be. It was so fun. I was never close to them before but having something in common made everything so much easier. Really want to meet up with them again.
I had a chance to meet people from the extended family who are pro-breastfeeding. It was fun as we were exchanging notes. They made it seem like breastfeeding is a natural thing to do - which of course it is supposed to be. It was so fun. I was never close to them before but having something in common made everything so much easier. Really want to meet up with them again.
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
Baby Having THE Flu
Urrgghh! Now baby has the flu. Well, according to the PD, baby caught the runny nose first and passed it to Princess who then also developed cough and then Princess probably passed the cough virus to Baby thus now Baby has cough and runny nose. But no fever, thank God.]
It is so sad looking at such a small baby coughing away. I hope she recovers soon. It is especially tiring for me. Now I set reminders to remind me what time to feed who their medication. I feel like I'm falling sick myself but I've got to stay strong for my girls.
I'm so tired. I'm still trying to get used to being a mom of two. It's tough finding time to spend with Princess at times as when we are having fun, Baby wants milk. But Princess has been really understanding. She loves her sister, always kissing her. Calling me to carry her sister whenever Baby is crying.
I love MY GIRLS!!
It is so sad looking at such a small baby coughing away. I hope she recovers soon. It is especially tiring for me. Now I set reminders to remind me what time to feed who their medication. I feel like I'm falling sick myself but I've got to stay strong for my girls.
I'm so tired. I'm still trying to get used to being a mom of two. It's tough finding time to spend with Princess at times as when we are having fun, Baby wants milk. But Princess has been really understanding. She loves her sister, always kissing her. Calling me to carry her sister whenever Baby is crying.
I love MY GIRLS!!
Saturday, April 10, 2010
On Bronchitis & Breastfeeding
I brought Princess to see a pediatrician on Tuesday as any mother would be worried if told that their child has moderate bronchitis and might need to be sent to KKH.
The PD took one look and said that Princess looks active for someone with moderate bronchitis. She then asked me whether Princess was given inhaler/nebuliser when we took her to the GP. We replied she wasn't. Then the PD asked whether she was wheezing when she was at the GP. Again, we replied she wasn't. PD then proceeded to examine Princess. PD then said Princess does not have moderate bronchitis. If any, it appears that she might be having early signs of bronchitis and we shouldn't be too worried. PD also changed the cough mixture since she said Princess had lots of phlegm. This PD that we went to was the one that we always took Princess to before she turned 2.
I was very disappointed with the GP. Actually, when we took Princess to the GP, the tone that I got from the GP was one that was very cold. Like as if he doesn't care much for kids. I bet he does not have any children. He is a total opposite of his colleague (the one we always see). His colleague, Dr Chong, is very fatherly, handles kids well and explains things clearly to us. I know that Dr Chong has a daughter as he once shared with us that he understood how we felt as parents as he is a parent himself. Unfortunately, Dr Chong is not a full-time GP at the clinic and it so happened that the day when we took Princess there, Dr Chong was not around.
Hubby said that he will never again patronize the clinic again. Actually he said this right after Princess had her check-up with the GP as hubby felt that the doctor on duty was very unprofessional.
I'm kind of glad that what Princess has is not as serious as what the GP said but we are still monitoring her and giving her medication as required. So far her fever has broken.
Now on the topic of breastfeeding. Haiz... As I've said, I'm very pro-breastfeeding now since I breastfeed my Baby exclusively. I have nothing against those who give formula to their child coz for Princess, I did that too.
The PD took one look and said that Princess looks active for someone with moderate bronchitis. She then asked me whether Princess was given inhaler/nebuliser when we took her to the GP. We replied she wasn't. Then the PD asked whether she was wheezing when she was at the GP. Again, we replied she wasn't. PD then proceeded to examine Princess. PD then said Princess does not have moderate bronchitis. If any, it appears that she might be having early signs of bronchitis and we shouldn't be too worried. PD also changed the cough mixture since she said Princess had lots of phlegm. This PD that we went to was the one that we always took Princess to before she turned 2.
I was very disappointed with the GP. Actually, when we took Princess to the GP, the tone that I got from the GP was one that was very cold. Like as if he doesn't care much for kids. I bet he does not have any children. He is a total opposite of his colleague (the one we always see). His colleague, Dr Chong, is very fatherly, handles kids well and explains things clearly to us. I know that Dr Chong has a daughter as he once shared with us that he understood how we felt as parents as he is a parent himself. Unfortunately, Dr Chong is not a full-time GP at the clinic and it so happened that the day when we took Princess there, Dr Chong was not around.
Hubby said that he will never again patronize the clinic again. Actually he said this right after Princess had her check-up with the GP as hubby felt that the doctor on duty was very unprofessional.
I'm kind of glad that what Princess has is not as serious as what the GP said but we are still monitoring her and giving her medication as required. So far her fever has broken.
Now on the topic of breastfeeding. Haiz... As I've said, I'm very pro-breastfeeding now since I breastfeed my Baby exclusively. I have nothing against those who give formula to their child coz for Princess, I did that too.
Monday, April 5, 2010
Princess Having Bronchitis
Brought Baby to polyclinic today for jaundice check-up. Jaundice level is down to normal level so Baby need not go for anymore check-ups on bilirubin level.
Brought Princess to a GP today as she was coughing badly and had fever of 39.2 celsius yesterday night. Her usual doctor was not in but another doctor was around to see her. Would prefer her usual doctor actually...
Anyway, the doctor said that Princess had moderate bronchitis and that if her health worsens the next 2-3 days, she needs to be brought to KKH. The doctor prescribed antibiotics, cough syrup, salbutamol and singulair. So far Princess seems alright. She is still very lively but her cough is pretty chesty. I really hope that she'll recover soon.
In the meantime, I'm not allowing Princess to attend childcare as she is not feeling well. This means that I have to take care of Princess and Baby at the same time, without hubby around as he is working. This is the first time after I gave birth to Baby that I'll be taking care of both of them on my own. I'm kind of excited, actually.
Hope that Princess recovers soon. I worry for her.
Brought Princess to a GP today as she was coughing badly and had fever of 39.2 celsius yesterday night. Her usual doctor was not in but another doctor was around to see her. Would prefer her usual doctor actually...
Anyway, the doctor said that Princess had moderate bronchitis and that if her health worsens the next 2-3 days, she needs to be brought to KKH. The doctor prescribed antibiotics, cough syrup, salbutamol and singulair. So far Princess seems alright. She is still very lively but her cough is pretty chesty. I really hope that she'll recover soon.
In the meantime, I'm not allowing Princess to attend childcare as she is not feeling well. This means that I have to take care of Princess and Baby at the same time, without hubby around as he is working. This is the first time after I gave birth to Baby that I'll be taking care of both of them on my own. I'm kind of excited, actually.
Hope that Princess recovers soon. I worry for her.
Sunday, April 4, 2010
Pumping enough milk
I always have this worry that I might not be able to express enough milk for Baby. Currently she latches on so she has enough. But when I express milk out, I usually get about 120-140ml in the morning. Thereafter, always left than 50ml.
I've just received my order of the Nursing Tea. Really hope that this can boost my milk supply. I worry that when I return to work, Baby won't have enough. Worry, worry, worry.
I've just received my order of the Nursing Tea. Really hope that this can boost my milk supply. I worry that when I return to work, Baby won't have enough. Worry, worry, worry.
Thursday, April 1, 2010
Baby's Having A Cold
I think Baby has caught a cold. Possibly from one of the people who came to visit. Actually I kinda know who she could have gotten it from and I'm pissed that some people are so irresponsible. If you are not well or a member of your family is not well then don't visit a newborn. You can visit later. I won't even hold it against you. I can't possibly chase you away, can I? And now poor baby has caught a cold.
I'll be going to see a paediatrician later. It opens at 7.30p.m. I hope Baby feels better soon. So sad seeing her sneezing and such.
As for my previous post on breastfeeding, I've got some answers from the mommoes in MummySG forum. My baby could be going through a growth spurt then coz now she's feeding better. I also learnt that I can burp her in between feeds as she might have a gassy tummy and that is why she keeps wanting to feed.
I am really enjoying my breastfeeding journey so far as I know I'm giving my child the best.
I'll be going to see a paediatrician later. It opens at 7.30p.m. I hope Baby feels better soon. So sad seeing her sneezing and such.
As for my previous post on breastfeeding, I've got some answers from the mommoes in MummySG forum. My baby could be going through a growth spurt then coz now she's feeding better. I also learnt that I can burp her in between feeds as she might have a gassy tummy and that is why she keeps wanting to feed.
I am really enjoying my breastfeeding journey so far as I know I'm giving my child the best.
Monday, March 29, 2010
On feeling Like A Cow
No, actually I don't feel like a cow...I just thought that the title is catchy, that's all ;)
I've been on full breastfeeding since Day 1 of giving birth. I'm starting to feel tiredness due to lack of sleep. At times, Baby takes a long time feeding. I find myself dozing off at times while she's still at her feed. I'm not too sure if I'm doing it right. See, she will latch for a feed. Then she will feed on one breast for 15 to 30 mins, fall asleep and then she doesn't want to feed anymore. When I touch her lips or around her mouth, she'll purse her lips. So thinking that she is already satiated, I'll put her down. 5 minutes later, she'll start screaming for milk again. She'll then latch on the other breast for 15 to 30 mins, fall asleep and does not want to feed again. But 5 mins after I put her down, she screams for milk again. I'm not too sure if I'm doing this breastfeeding right. I know I have enough milk in me as each time after her feed, there is still smilk left over. At times, I will pump the milk out. I also realise that I am never able to pump all the milk out.
When I'm in doubt, I will check with the other mommies in the mummysg forum. So I guess I need the help of other mommies in this.
On another note, I brought Baby to the polyclinic for her neonatal jaundice check up . Her jaundice level has gone down to 190. Since it is coming down, the doctor - a very nice lady - suggested that she only need to come for check up a week later. Doc said that as long as baby is feeding alright (she's feeding every hour at times), pooing and peeing alright, then the jaundice level will come down. I am so glad that Baby does not have to keep on going for check up every day like last week. The poor girl had to have her heel pricked every single time. Pains my heart to see her like that.
I've been on full breastfeeding since Day 1 of giving birth. I'm starting to feel tiredness due to lack of sleep. At times, Baby takes a long time feeding. I find myself dozing off at times while she's still at her feed. I'm not too sure if I'm doing it right. See, she will latch for a feed. Then she will feed on one breast for 15 to 30 mins, fall asleep and then she doesn't want to feed anymore. When I touch her lips or around her mouth, she'll purse her lips. So thinking that she is already satiated, I'll put her down. 5 minutes later, she'll start screaming for milk again. She'll then latch on the other breast for 15 to 30 mins, fall asleep and does not want to feed again. But 5 mins after I put her down, she screams for milk again. I'm not too sure if I'm doing this breastfeeding right. I know I have enough milk in me as each time after her feed, there is still smilk left over. At times, I will pump the milk out. I also realise that I am never able to pump all the milk out.
When I'm in doubt, I will check with the other mommies in the mummysg forum. So I guess I need the help of other mommies in this.
On another note, I brought Baby to the polyclinic for her neonatal jaundice check up . Her jaundice level has gone down to 190. Since it is coming down, the doctor - a very nice lady - suggested that she only need to come for check up a week later. Doc said that as long as baby is feeding alright (she's feeding every hour at times), pooing and peeing alright, then the jaundice level will come down. I am so glad that Baby does not have to keep on going for check up every day like last week. The poor girl had to have her heel pricked every single time. Pains my heart to see her like that.
Friday, March 26, 2010
Breastfeeding Obstacles
Baby is currently on total breastmilk. I told myself that for No.2, I really want to do total breastfeeding. I didn't manage to do that for Princess when she was a baby. With Princess, I did a combination of breastmilk and formula. That continued for about 4 months till she was totally on formula.
When I had Princess, I was clueless about breastfeeding. I know that it is good but I didn't know the challenges that came with it. I had mastitis twice. Oh, I can still remember the fever, the chills, sore and bleeding nipples. I didn't know how to manage all that. I didn't know who or where to ask for help. In the end, I gave up. I felt guilty when I stopped the breastmilk totally. Trust me, up till now, I still feel guilty and regret for not giving Princess the best that she deserved.
Learning from the experience I had with Princess, I told myself that No. 2 will be different. That I will perservere and not give up breastfeeding. I want to give my child the best. On top of that, I can save on buying formula milk. I did my research on breastfeeding. I went into forums to seek help from mommies who breastfeed their babies. With all that, I ventured into total breastfeeding as soon as Baby was born.
At KKH, I learnt from lactation consultants on massaging the breast and the tips on breastfeeding. I invested in an electric breastpump. Again, I perservered through sore nipples. I must say that though it hasn't been smooth sailing, the experience I had breastfeeding Baby so far has been so much better than the experience with Princess. No bleeding nipples, no mastitis. I guess this comes from experience and research.
However, there were other obstacles that I had to face when breastfeeding Baby - Human Obstacles.
First, it was my mom. She knows that breastmilk is the best for Baby. Naturally, for the first few days, Baby keeps on wanting breastmilk every 1 to 2 hours. And of course, I had people coming to visit. At the same time, everytime Baby wants her feed, I have to leave the guests to feed her. So mom suggested supplementing with formula coz she said maybe Baby was not getting enough from me. I told her that my breastmilk was enough but she insisted that since Baby keeps on wanting milk, then it must be that she's not getting enough. I told Mom that I will only feed breastmilk and nothing else. After awhile, I guess Mom moticed that I was determined and that Baby seems contented and therefore she agreed that I was doing the right thing. Now whenever people come to visit and I have to excuse myself, she will always tell the guests that I'm doing total breastfeeding and that breastmilk is the best for Baby.
2nd obstacle- Hubby. Hubby was not happy that I was waking up every hour or so at night to feed Baby. He said that I was not taking care of myself and therefore suggested supplementing with formula. Of course I said "No". I told him that I'm giving Baby the best she can ever get that she can never get from formula. Whenever I read anything on the benefits of breastfeeding, I will show it to him. Now, he supports me totally in breastfeeding.
3rd obstacle- Mother-in-law. MIL came over to visit and held Baby in her arms. After awhile, Baby started to cry. Hubby told her that Baby wants milk and that Baby was on total breastmilk. MIL said "That's good!" Then she stopped herself and backtracked and said "Oh, but when you go back to work, how are you going to feed her? Better supplement with formula." (MIL had volunteered to care for baby when I return to work)
I told MIL that I'll express some breastmilk that she can feed the baby with while I work. She said it's not possible. I told her that it is possible and it has been done and people are still doing it. She was not convinced. She then tried talking to hubby to get me to supplement Baby with formula milk so that it'll be easier for her when I return to work.
Haiz! I'm so tired of having to explain to people why I'm doing this. I know this is the best for my child and I want only the best for my child. So I am standing firm on total breastfeeding. Now, I'm seriously thinking of taking unpaid leave after my maternity leave so that I can continue breastfeeding Baby. MIL came over yesterday and asked me when I was returning to work and I replied "Next year". She was shocked but hubby told her that I was thinking of extending my leave. She then kept quiet.
MIL is a very nice lady. But why is it that breastfeeding comes with a lot of obstacles? Everyone knows the benefits of breastfeeding but they keep thinking that it is a hassle. Shouldn't I be the one who decide if it is a hassle for me? If I don't find it a hassle, then why should others bother. Urrgghh! So frustrating.
Anyway, I'm still determined to go on breastfeeding. I really hope that I will not give up even when faced with obstacles.
When I had Princess, I was clueless about breastfeeding. I know that it is good but I didn't know the challenges that came with it. I had mastitis twice. Oh, I can still remember the fever, the chills, sore and bleeding nipples. I didn't know how to manage all that. I didn't know who or where to ask for help. In the end, I gave up. I felt guilty when I stopped the breastmilk totally. Trust me, up till now, I still feel guilty and regret for not giving Princess the best that she deserved.
Learning from the experience I had with Princess, I told myself that No. 2 will be different. That I will perservere and not give up breastfeeding. I want to give my child the best. On top of that, I can save on buying formula milk. I did my research on breastfeeding. I went into forums to seek help from mommies who breastfeed their babies. With all that, I ventured into total breastfeeding as soon as Baby was born.
At KKH, I learnt from lactation consultants on massaging the breast and the tips on breastfeeding. I invested in an electric breastpump. Again, I perservered through sore nipples. I must say that though it hasn't been smooth sailing, the experience I had breastfeeding Baby so far has been so much better than the experience with Princess. No bleeding nipples, no mastitis. I guess this comes from experience and research.
However, there were other obstacles that I had to face when breastfeeding Baby - Human Obstacles.
First, it was my mom. She knows that breastmilk is the best for Baby. Naturally, for the first few days, Baby keeps on wanting breastmilk every 1 to 2 hours. And of course, I had people coming to visit. At the same time, everytime Baby wants her feed, I have to leave the guests to feed her. So mom suggested supplementing with formula coz she said maybe Baby was not getting enough from me. I told her that my breastmilk was enough but she insisted that since Baby keeps on wanting milk, then it must be that she's not getting enough. I told Mom that I will only feed breastmilk and nothing else. After awhile, I guess Mom moticed that I was determined and that Baby seems contented and therefore she agreed that I was doing the right thing. Now whenever people come to visit and I have to excuse myself, she will always tell the guests that I'm doing total breastfeeding and that breastmilk is the best for Baby.
2nd obstacle- Hubby. Hubby was not happy that I was waking up every hour or so at night to feed Baby. He said that I was not taking care of myself and therefore suggested supplementing with formula. Of course I said "No". I told him that I'm giving Baby the best she can ever get that she can never get from formula. Whenever I read anything on the benefits of breastfeeding, I will show it to him. Now, he supports me totally in breastfeeding.
3rd obstacle- Mother-in-law. MIL came over to visit and held Baby in her arms. After awhile, Baby started to cry. Hubby told her that Baby wants milk and that Baby was on total breastmilk. MIL said "That's good!" Then she stopped herself and backtracked and said "Oh, but when you go back to work, how are you going to feed her? Better supplement with formula." (MIL had volunteered to care for baby when I return to work)
I told MIL that I'll express some breastmilk that she can feed the baby with while I work. She said it's not possible. I told her that it is possible and it has been done and people are still doing it. She was not convinced. She then tried talking to hubby to get me to supplement Baby with formula milk so that it'll be easier for her when I return to work.
Haiz! I'm so tired of having to explain to people why I'm doing this. I know this is the best for my child and I want only the best for my child. So I am standing firm on total breastfeeding. Now, I'm seriously thinking of taking unpaid leave after my maternity leave so that I can continue breastfeeding Baby. MIL came over yesterday and asked me when I was returning to work and I replied "Next year". She was shocked but hubby told her that I was thinking of extending my leave. She then kept quiet.
MIL is a very nice lady. But why is it that breastfeeding comes with a lot of obstacles? Everyone knows the benefits of breastfeeding but they keep thinking that it is a hassle. Shouldn't I be the one who decide if it is a hassle for me? If I don't find it a hassle, then why should others bother. Urrgghh! So frustrating.
Anyway, I'm still determined to go on breastfeeding. I really hope that I will not give up even when faced with obstacles.
Thursday, March 25, 2010
Finally Gave Birth!!!
I gave birth to a bundling baby girl on 19 March 2010. Baby arrived at 3.29a.m. and weighed 3.275kg. Baby arrived a day after sis-in-law's baby. We ended up being in the same hospital and were discharged the same day. Great that I had company at the hospital!
However, I totally didn't expect baby to arrive the way she did. It was totally unexpected and I almost gave birth to her in the car!
I waited up for hubby that night (19 March 2010) as he was working late. Hubby returned at 2a.m. and I was online. Shut down my notebook and talked to hubby for awhile. At 2.30a.m. we decided to sleep. As I was lying down and trying to get some sleep, I felt pain in my lower back area. I thought that it was nature call and went to the washroom to relieve myself. But when I came out from the washroom, the pain was still there. I told hubby about it and he made me a glass of hot Milo thinking that it was just stomach pain. As I drank the Milo, I realised that the pain was just around the lower back area and when I looked at my watch, I noticed that the pain came every 5mins. I told my husband that I might be in labour. Called Mum and told her that we were sending Princess over to her place as I needed to go to the hospital.
On the way to Mum's place, I called again and asked for Dad to come down to get Princess from us as I didn't think that I could wait any longer. Reached Mum's place at 3a.m. Dad took Princess from us - she was asleep and luckily I had packed her bag in advance so all her necessities were in the bag - and we gave him Princess's bag.
Hubby then drove us to KKH. On the way, I looked at the clock and noticed that the contractions came every 2minutes. I asked hubby how long it would take to reach KKH and he said 15mins. I told him that I need him to reach there in 5mins. The contractions then came every min or so I thought. I could feel the baby pushing out even though my waterbag hasn't burst yet.
We reached KKH at about 3.20a.m. When we got out of the car, I couldn't walk anymore coz baby was pushing out. Hubhy wanted to carry me but I told hubby to get help - seriously, how could he carry me??!! Unfortunately, there was no one around. Hubby ran and got a wheelchair. I couldn't even sit in the wheelchair. I was in complete pain. Hubby rushed me to the delivery suite.
When we reached the delivery suite, the nurse took over and asked me how frequent my contractions were. They wheeled me into the delivery suite at 3.25p.m. Quickly got me undressed and dressed me in the hospital robe. I told them I'm GBS positive and had to have the antibiotics. Nurse tried to put the ctg while asking me not to push. I told her I couldn't as the baby's coming. The nurse then wanted to check how far my cervix has dilated and that was when my waterbag burst. Hubby said he could see the baby's hair sticking out at that moment. As soon as my waterbag burst, the nurse pressed the alarm for "Code ....". I've no idea what code it was. She asked my hubby to put the oxygen mask on me. I kept pushing it away so hubby had to hold it down. My gynae swept into the room just in time. One push and baby was out at 3.29a.m.
So to say, I wasn't administered any antibiotics as there was no time. Luckily baby is fine though I have to monitor her. So far, everything's fine. I'm thankful that my gynae was around. Gynae told my hubby that for the 3rd child, he might have to come earlier or I will give birth before I reach the hospital.
The nurses then came to congratulate me and kept telling me that my delivery was very fast. One told me that I probably had a very high threshold of pain and that is why I didn't feel anything prior to the first pain I felt.
I was just thankful that we made it to the delivery suite in time. I guess for the 3rd one, I better make an appointment to deliver before EDD. At the same time, there is a fear of having the 3rd one for fear that I might not make it to the hospital in time. That was the only time I learnt to appreciate my hubby's F1 driving skills.
At the same time, I have to say a big Thank You Doc K T Tan for delivering my baby! And thank you to the wonderful nurses in KKH! I've heard people complaining about the service there but seriously, I've stayed in the hospital thrice and each time, I felt that the doctors, the nurses and staffs there were all very professional and caring towards their patients. I really enjoyed my stay there!
However, I totally didn't expect baby to arrive the way she did. It was totally unexpected and I almost gave birth to her in the car!
I waited up for hubby that night (19 March 2010) as he was working late. Hubby returned at 2a.m. and I was online. Shut down my notebook and talked to hubby for awhile. At 2.30a.m. we decided to sleep. As I was lying down and trying to get some sleep, I felt pain in my lower back area. I thought that it was nature call and went to the washroom to relieve myself. But when I came out from the washroom, the pain was still there. I told hubby about it and he made me a glass of hot Milo thinking that it was just stomach pain. As I drank the Milo, I realised that the pain was just around the lower back area and when I looked at my watch, I noticed that the pain came every 5mins. I told my husband that I might be in labour. Called Mum and told her that we were sending Princess over to her place as I needed to go to the hospital.
On the way to Mum's place, I called again and asked for Dad to come down to get Princess from us as I didn't think that I could wait any longer. Reached Mum's place at 3a.m. Dad took Princess from us - she was asleep and luckily I had packed her bag in advance so all her necessities were in the bag - and we gave him Princess's bag.
Hubby then drove us to KKH. On the way, I looked at the clock and noticed that the contractions came every 2minutes. I asked hubby how long it would take to reach KKH and he said 15mins. I told him that I need him to reach there in 5mins. The contractions then came every min or so I thought. I could feel the baby pushing out even though my waterbag hasn't burst yet.
We reached KKH at about 3.20a.m. When we got out of the car, I couldn't walk anymore coz baby was pushing out. Hubhy wanted to carry me but I told hubby to get help - seriously, how could he carry me??!! Unfortunately, there was no one around. Hubby ran and got a wheelchair. I couldn't even sit in the wheelchair. I was in complete pain. Hubby rushed me to the delivery suite.
When we reached the delivery suite, the nurse took over and asked me how frequent my contractions were. They wheeled me into the delivery suite at 3.25p.m. Quickly got me undressed and dressed me in the hospital robe. I told them I'm GBS positive and had to have the antibiotics. Nurse tried to put the ctg while asking me not to push. I told her I couldn't as the baby's coming. The nurse then wanted to check how far my cervix has dilated and that was when my waterbag burst. Hubby said he could see the baby's hair sticking out at that moment. As soon as my waterbag burst, the nurse pressed the alarm for "Code ....". I've no idea what code it was. She asked my hubby to put the oxygen mask on me. I kept pushing it away so hubby had to hold it down. My gynae swept into the room just in time. One push and baby was out at 3.29a.m.
So to say, I wasn't administered any antibiotics as there was no time. Luckily baby is fine though I have to monitor her. So far, everything's fine. I'm thankful that my gynae was around. Gynae told my hubby that for the 3rd child, he might have to come earlier or I will give birth before I reach the hospital.
The nurses then came to congratulate me and kept telling me that my delivery was very fast. One told me that I probably had a very high threshold of pain and that is why I didn't feel anything prior to the first pain I felt.
I was just thankful that we made it to the delivery suite in time. I guess for the 3rd one, I better make an appointment to deliver before EDD. At the same time, there is a fear of having the 3rd one for fear that I might not make it to the hospital in time. That was the only time I learnt to appreciate my hubby's F1 driving skills.
At the same time, I have to say a big Thank You Doc K T Tan for delivering my baby! And thank you to the wonderful nurses in KKH! I've heard people complaining about the service there but seriously, I've stayed in the hospital thrice and each time, I felt that the doctors, the nurses and staffs there were all very professional and caring towards their patients. I really enjoyed my stay there!
Thursday, March 18, 2010
Sis-In-Law Has Given Birth
Sis-in-law has just given birth to a baby boy! I am so happy for bro and sis-in-law. Since she has just given birth, I will only visit them tomorrow. I'm so happy for them!
The baby is 2.4kg, born at 34 weeks. I did not ask bro whether the baby needs to be in special care as it is already night time and Princess needs sleep. I think both sis-in-law and bro are probablyy exhausted too. Should just let them rest. I hope that the baby is fine :)
The baby is 2.4kg, born at 34 weeks. I did not ask bro whether the baby needs to be in special care as it is already night time and Princess needs sleep. I think both sis-in-law and bro are probablyy exhausted too. Should just let them rest. I hope that the baby is fine :)
Sis-in-law in Labour and Preparing Princess for the Baby
I'm so excited for my sis-in-law. Bro called to inform that sis-in-law's waterbag has burst. She's already at the delivery suite. She's in her 34th week but her gynae has already said that they will let nature take its course. Furthermore, they told her that long term use of medication to stop contractions can have a possible side effect on her.
I'm so excited for sis-in-law and bro! This will be their first child, another nephew to our family. YAY! I hope that the delivery will be a smooth one and that the little one will come out safe and sound. Ooohh...I love babies.
Can't wait for my turn. (talking to my tummy) "Hey little one, time to come out..."
Sent Princess to school today since she has recovered. Actually I didn't feel like sending her coz I enjoy having her at home with me. However, when the baby comes, I don't want her to feel that she is being sent because there is a baby. Therefore we have to make it a norm for her to attend school so that when the baby arrives, there wouldn't be any rejection on Princess's part. Hubby and I actually bought a present for Princess which we've been keeping in the car. We plan to give it to her when the baby comes and say that it's from the baby.
I still carry Princess, the whole 13kg of her. However, I did tell her that once her younger sis is out, I will not be able to carry her for a while. I told her that Daddy will carry her but Mummy still loves her. Princess is so sweet. She understands and I think that that is the reason why she wants me to carry her most of the times now instead of hubby carrying her. I really want to make Princess feel loved even when the baby is here. I've heard a lot of sibling rivalry stories and I really do not want Princess to feel that way.
I'm so excited for sis-in-law and bro! This will be their first child, another nephew to our family. YAY! I hope that the delivery will be a smooth one and that the little one will come out safe and sound. Ooohh...I love babies.
Can't wait for my turn. (talking to my tummy) "Hey little one, time to come out..."
Sent Princess to school today since she has recovered. Actually I didn't feel like sending her coz I enjoy having her at home with me. However, when the baby comes, I don't want her to feel that she is being sent because there is a baby. Therefore we have to make it a norm for her to attend school so that when the baby arrives, there wouldn't be any rejection on Princess's part. Hubby and I actually bought a present for Princess which we've been keeping in the car. We plan to give it to her when the baby comes and say that it's from the baby.
I still carry Princess, the whole 13kg of her. However, I did tell her that once her younger sis is out, I will not be able to carry her for a while. I told her that Daddy will carry her but Mummy still loves her. Princess is so sweet. She understands and I think that that is the reason why she wants me to carry her most of the times now instead of hubby carrying her. I really want to make Princess feel loved even when the baby is here. I've heard a lot of sibling rivalry stories and I really do not want Princess to feel that way.
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
Not in labour yet...
I went to visit sis-in-law yesterday. She was admitted to the hospital on Saturday as she was experiencing contractions. She's in her 34th week of pregnancy. Yesterday was the last day that the hospital was going to administer her medicine to reduce the contractions as according to the Senior Consultant there, since she has already been given a jab to mature the baby's lungs and her baby is already 2.6kg, there's no point in asking her to hold on to the pregnancy. Therefore, she is just to let nature takes its course. Hopefully everything will go on fine and well for her. Let's pray for the best.
Yesterday, I felt more cramps than before. But the frequencies are far apart and the pain will subside. I actually like feeling the cramps knowing that giving birth would be so near. My feet is so swollen that no shoes will be able to fit me. I currently wear sandals and I can feel the leather cutting through my skin as the day goes. Hubby asked me to get maternity shoes. However I feel that it is a waste of money since I am going to give birth soon and then the swell will come down. I don't know. I have not decided on it yet.
As the big day draws near, I can't help but think of confinement. With Princess I did confinement at my mum's place. I had someone to cook for me and do my laundry. Now that I am on my own, I'm kind of excited to do all on my own. At the same time, I'm afraid that everything will be too overwhelming for me. Actually I was also contemplating on forgoing confinement altogether...hehe...but mum told me that the one who will suffer in old age would be me. Seriously?? Is it true if you do not do confinement then your body will feel the effect when you are old? I believe many westerners do not have confinement. Maybe I won't forgo confinement altogether but cheat on it a little.
Princess is still coughing. Yesterday she coughed till she vomitted the phlegm out. I really hope she'll recover from this episode soon. If she still doesn't recover by tomorrow then I'll probably take her to the GP again. I used to take Princess to a paedatrician. But when she turned 2, I took her to a GP instead. I realise that the medicine they administer are the same. Of course, with a PD, they are better trained at handling kids. However, this clinic that I take Princess to has 3 docs. There's this one GP there who is especially good at handling kids. He takes time to explain and his explanations are always very detailed and clear. Princess always refers to him as "her doc".
Yesterday, I felt more cramps than before. But the frequencies are far apart and the pain will subside. I actually like feeling the cramps knowing that giving birth would be so near. My feet is so swollen that no shoes will be able to fit me. I currently wear sandals and I can feel the leather cutting through my skin as the day goes. Hubby asked me to get maternity shoes. However I feel that it is a waste of money since I am going to give birth soon and then the swell will come down. I don't know. I have not decided on it yet.
As the big day draws near, I can't help but think of confinement. With Princess I did confinement at my mum's place. I had someone to cook for me and do my laundry. Now that I am on my own, I'm kind of excited to do all on my own. At the same time, I'm afraid that everything will be too overwhelming for me. Actually I was also contemplating on forgoing confinement altogether...hehe...but mum told me that the one who will suffer in old age would be me. Seriously?? Is it true if you do not do confinement then your body will feel the effect when you are old? I believe many westerners do not have confinement. Maybe I won't forgo confinement altogether but cheat on it a little.
Princess is still coughing. Yesterday she coughed till she vomitted the phlegm out. I really hope she'll recover from this episode soon. If she still doesn't recover by tomorrow then I'll probably take her to the GP again. I used to take Princess to a paedatrician. But when she turned 2, I took her to a GP instead. I realise that the medicine they administer are the same. Of course, with a PD, they are better trained at handling kids. However, this clinic that I take Princess to has 3 docs. There's this one GP there who is especially good at handling kids. He takes time to explain and his explanations are always very detailed and clear. Princess always refers to him as "her doc".
Monday, March 15, 2010
38th wk, 2cm dilated and still no show
I don't know how to describe what I'm feeling. I'm 2cm dilated for 2 wks already and still have not given birth. I think the baby is getting too comfortable in the tummy. I really don't want to be induced as Princess was induced. I want to go through the natural flow of things this time round. I gave birth to Princess at 38 weeks.
I was feeling contractions quite frequently last week. But now, I'm not getting much contractions and in fact, I've been sleeping quite well these past 3 days. Oh, but when getting up from being seated...I can feel the backache. I've put on 14kg!!! With Princess, I put on 12kg. I really hope to give birth soon. It's weird coz I actually feel happy whenever I get cramps...haha
Princess is down with mild fever and cough. She just recovered from her cough and 2 days later, gets it again. Poor girl. I know she feels uncomfortable especially when she's asleep. Fortunately her fever is not that high. I really hope she recovers soon. She's at home with me today. Her school is closed for today. Even if it's opened, I wouldn't send her to school as she's not feeling well. Will send her when she's better.
I was feeling contractions quite frequently last week. But now, I'm not getting much contractions and in fact, I've been sleeping quite well these past 3 days. Oh, but when getting up from being seated...I can feel the backache. I've put on 14kg!!! With Princess, I put on 12kg. I really hope to give birth soon. It's weird coz I actually feel happy whenever I get cramps...haha
Princess is down with mild fever and cough. She just recovered from her cough and 2 days later, gets it again. Poor girl. I know she feels uncomfortable especially when she's asleep. Fortunately her fever is not that high. I really hope she recovers soon. She's at home with me today. Her school is closed for today. Even if it's opened, I wouldn't send her to school as she's not feeling well. Will send her when she's better.
Thursday, March 11, 2010
Leapfrog DVDs
I have 2 nephews- one 19mths old and another 3years and 1 mth old. Wonderful lovely kids. Yesterday, I went over to their place and brought along Letter Factory DVD. As we played the DVD, Princess of course knows all the letters. My nephews were also enjoying themselves and singing along while learning the letter sounds. Their parents were impressed and asked me to help purchase the DVD for them. As for me, I'll gladly to do so. Anything for the children.
I wonder why Leapfrog's DVD was discontinued from being sold in Singapore. It is really good and kids enjoy it.
Sometimes I wish and I can just be a SAHM and just spend time teaching my children and home-schooling them. Yes, I want to home school my kids. Do I have the resources? NO. Anyone has any idea how to go about to home school your kids?
I wonder why Leapfrog's DVD was discontinued from being sold in Singapore. It is really good and kids enjoy it.
Sometimes I wish and I can just be a SAHM and just spend time teaching my children and home-schooling them. Yes, I want to home school my kids. Do I have the resources? NO. Anyone has any idea how to go about to home school your kids?
Sunday, March 7, 2010
Princess knowing her letter sounds
I'm so impressed with Princess's learning. She's able to sound out all the letter sounds of the alphabet. All thanks to Leapfrog's Letter Factory DVD.
I'm getting her to identify the uppercase letters with the lowercase letters. So far she has mastered A to F.
In terms of reading. Princess likes to choose what she wants to read. I let her choose the books. I realise that after awhile, she can actually identify the words to the sounds they make. I feel that this is much better than learning through flashcards coz reading is never boring.
I just want to inculcate the love for reading in her. I myself love to read.
I'm getting her to identify the uppercase letters with the lowercase letters. So far she has mastered A to F.
In terms of reading. Princess likes to choose what she wants to read. I let her choose the books. I realise that after awhile, she can actually identify the words to the sounds they make. I feel that this is much better than learning through flashcards coz reading is never boring.
I just want to inculcate the love for reading in her. I myself love to read.
Saturday, March 6, 2010
37th week
Yay! 37th week today!
Was diagnosed with having GBS based on HVS during last visit to gynae. Was prescribed antibiotics and have completed the whole course.
Gynae attached a note to my appointment booklet. Was informed by her that I need to carry it around with me just in case I go into labour. Once in labour, that note will inform the medical team that I needed to be prescribed antibiotics via drip to reduce the chances of the baby contracting it. I really hope that everything will turn out fine. Gynae told me to quickly go to the delivery suite when I'm in labour.
With Princess, I was in labour for 1 to 2 hours before I gave birth so chances are high that baby no. 2 will be quite fast too.
Gynae did the cervix dilation test and told me that my cervix was already 1.5cm dilated. Yippee!! Nearing labour. She asked whether I wanted to be admitted but I chose to wait coz the pain is manageable and I really want to experience all the works. With Princess, I was induced as amniotic fluid was running low.
I'm not too sure whether I should start my maternity leave early since I'm already dilated. However, I do have the fear of my waterbag bursting when I'm at work. I'll be speaking to my superiors on Monday to seek their advice.
Alrightey then. Counting the days!!!
Was diagnosed with having GBS based on HVS during last visit to gynae. Was prescribed antibiotics and have completed the whole course.
Gynae attached a note to my appointment booklet. Was informed by her that I need to carry it around with me just in case I go into labour. Once in labour, that note will inform the medical team that I needed to be prescribed antibiotics via drip to reduce the chances of the baby contracting it. I really hope that everything will turn out fine. Gynae told me to quickly go to the delivery suite when I'm in labour.
With Princess, I was in labour for 1 to 2 hours before I gave birth so chances are high that baby no. 2 will be quite fast too.
Gynae did the cervix dilation test and told me that my cervix was already 1.5cm dilated. Yippee!! Nearing labour. She asked whether I wanted to be admitted but I chose to wait coz the pain is manageable and I really want to experience all the works. With Princess, I was induced as amniotic fluid was running low.
I'm not too sure whether I should start my maternity leave early since I'm already dilated. However, I do have the fear of my waterbag bursting when I'm at work. I'll be speaking to my superiors on Monday to seek their advice.
Alrightey then. Counting the days!!!
Sunday, February 28, 2010
On Teaching Princess
Great news for me! MIL has agreed to take care of the baby when I return to work. I'm in my 36th week right now. However, I am thinking of going on No Pay Leave after my maternity leave. At least till the end of this year. I would like to spend more time with my girls and watch them grow. We'll see how it goes.
I can feel the baby moving further downwards in the womb. I get too tired to walk at times and I'm always tired. I think I can sleep the whole day. But not fitfully, of course. It's very uncomfortable sleeping with the baby pressing against you.
I'm currently teaching Princess to read. She's currently 2years 2mths.I let her watch Leapfrog's Letter Factory DVD. She loves it and is always the one requesting to have it switched on. I also read to her the LadyBird Series. Actually, I've been reading to her for quite some time. It's just that this time round, I get her to read to me. So I take one page at a time. I also used the ToddleWrite cards that I bought for her and get her to match the uppercase letters with lowercase letters. We play it in game form and she actually likes it. I do all these activities during separate timings and each activity only takes about 5minutes; except for the Letter Factory DVD which takes about 35mins.
Princess knows how to use my Iphone really well. I didn't teach her how to do it. She just figured it out on her own. So I downloaded a few softwares for her. Such knowing shapes, ABC Tracer and Counting Games. She loves these 3 and will always play them on her own. She's actually very good with shapes. And now she's gotten really good at counting. Previously she knows how to count but does not associate it with the quantity. Now she does, thanks to the game.
Princess has always been very good at memorising things. She loves songs and learns the lyrics fast. The other day, I was so surprised to hear her recite a prayer in full -she learnt it in school.
All in all, I'm pleased with Princess's development. I do not want to force her so I teach her when she wants to. Lucky for me, Princess is always the one requesting me to read her a book or play card games with her.
I can feel the baby moving further downwards in the womb. I get too tired to walk at times and I'm always tired. I think I can sleep the whole day. But not fitfully, of course. It's very uncomfortable sleeping with the baby pressing against you.
I'm currently teaching Princess to read. She's currently 2years 2mths.I let her watch Leapfrog's Letter Factory DVD. She loves it and is always the one requesting to have it switched on. I also read to her the LadyBird Series. Actually, I've been reading to her for quite some time. It's just that this time round, I get her to read to me. So I take one page at a time. I also used the ToddleWrite cards that I bought for her and get her to match the uppercase letters with lowercase letters. We play it in game form and she actually likes it. I do all these activities during separate timings and each activity only takes about 5minutes; except for the Letter Factory DVD which takes about 35mins.
Princess knows how to use my Iphone really well. I didn't teach her how to do it. She just figured it out on her own. So I downloaded a few softwares for her. Such knowing shapes, ABC Tracer and Counting Games. She loves these 3 and will always play them on her own. She's actually very good with shapes. And now she's gotten really good at counting. Previously she knows how to count but does not associate it with the quantity. Now she does, thanks to the game.
Princess has always been very good at memorising things. She loves songs and learns the lyrics fast. The other day, I was so surprised to hear her recite a prayer in full -she learnt it in school.
All in all, I'm pleased with Princess's development. I do not want to force her so I teach her when she wants to. Lucky for me, Princess is always the one requesting me to read her a book or play card games with her.
Monday, February 8, 2010
Useful websites for mothers & babies and pregnant women (even daddies)!
I chanced upon these websites which I thought were quite useful especially when I had Princess.
http://www.babycenter.com.sg/
This is Singapore's very own babycenter. It helps you track your pregnancy and lets you know how baby is growing. It also features experts' advices on pregnancy-related issues. I love this website.
http://www.baybsupplies.net/
Another great website that I went into. You can purchase baby products and there is also a forum where you can post questions or just chat with parents or would-be-parents. Best of all, one of the forum threads lets you know of any upcoming events or sales on baby products!
http://www.bimandruth.com/daniel/resources.htm
This website is extremely useful as it provides links to 'Shopping for Baby', 'Shopping for Mother' and 'Support Groups'.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/music/parents/yourchild/prebirth_18mnths/index.shtml
This website informs you of things you can do with your baby especially in the area of music.
http://www.wholesomebabyfood.com/
I used this website for recipes for Princess. Varied recipes for babies.
http://www.easy-kid-recipes.com/
Another great website to get recipes for baby food.
http://breasttalk.wordpress.com/
BreastTalk@KK. I used this website when I thought I had mastitis for poor latching on when breastfeeding. You can pose questions on breast-related issues to the doctors at KKH.
http://www.babycenter.com.sg/
This is Singapore's very own babycenter. It helps you track your pregnancy and lets you know how baby is growing. It also features experts' advices on pregnancy-related issues. I love this website.
http://www.baybsupplies.net/
Another great website that I went into. You can purchase baby products and there is also a forum where you can post questions or just chat with parents or would-be-parents. Best of all, one of the forum threads lets you know of any upcoming events or sales on baby products!
http://www.bimandruth.com/daniel/resources.htm
This website is extremely useful as it provides links to 'Shopping for Baby', 'Shopping for Mother' and 'Support Groups'.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/music/parents/yourchild/prebirth_18mnths/index.shtml
This website informs you of things you can do with your baby especially in the area of music.
http://www.wholesomebabyfood.com/
I used this website for recipes for Princess. Varied recipes for babies.
http://www.easy-kid-recipes.com/
Another great website to get recipes for baby food.
http://breasttalk.wordpress.com/
BreastTalk@KK. I used this website when I thought I had mastitis for poor latching on when breastfeeding. You can pose questions on breast-related issues to the doctors at KKH.
Who to take care of baby after birth?
I'm having a dilemma here. I have no idea who is going to look after the baby after my maternity leave is over. With Princess, I had the help of my aunt who took care of her till she was 2 years old. With the next one, dear aunt will not be able to look after as she is currently taking care of her own grandchild who is about 2mths old. On top of that, she's also looking after her grandson who is 4 years old.
My mum cannot take care of the baby either as she is occupied in the morning and will only be available in the afternoon. However, my work requires me to report in the morning. Mum suggested getting a maid to look after the baby in the morning. I'm quite reluctant of having the baby be taken care of by the maid unsupervised. The recent reports I hear from the news about maids abusing their employer's children adds to my fear of having the maid look after my child.
The other option is getting my mother-in-law (MIL) to look after the baby. She is free in the morning. However, in the afternoon, she has to look after brother-in-law's 3-year-old and 2 primary school going children. It might be taxing on her to look after so many grandchildren.
The other option I've thought of is infant care though the thought of it makes me feel guilty.
The last option would be for me to work from home. I'm not very entreprenurial. So I really do not know what to do.
I hope I'll find a solution to this predicament. I'm just hoping that everything will fall into place and that I do not have to spend the rest of my pregnancy and maternity leave worrying about this issue.
My mum cannot take care of the baby either as she is occupied in the morning and will only be available in the afternoon. However, my work requires me to report in the morning. Mum suggested getting a maid to look after the baby in the morning. I'm quite reluctant of having the baby be taken care of by the maid unsupervised. The recent reports I hear from the news about maids abusing their employer's children adds to my fear of having the maid look after my child.
The other option is getting my mother-in-law (MIL) to look after the baby. She is free in the morning. However, in the afternoon, she has to look after brother-in-law's 3-year-old and 2 primary school going children. It might be taxing on her to look after so many grandchildren.
The other option I've thought of is infant care though the thought of it makes me feel guilty.
The last option would be for me to work from home. I'm not very entreprenurial. So I really do not know what to do.
I hope I'll find a solution to this predicament. I'm just hoping that everything will fall into place and that I do not have to spend the rest of my pregnancy and maternity leave worrying about this issue.
Sunday, February 7, 2010
Guilt of a Working Mom
I'm sure I'm not the only working mother who feels guilty each time she spents time at work which equates to less time with her child. I can never get over this feeling. Yet I know that nothing much can be done other than trying as much as I can to leave my workplace on time to pick Princess up from childcare. The older she gets, the guiltier I feel coz I know she's at the stage where she would like her parents to be there for her all the time.
Before I had Princess, I was a workaholic. After I gave birth to her, I was still a workaholic. But now that she knows how to speak and how to express her feelings, I just want to stay home with her and watch her grow. I'm afraid to miss anything for fear of regrets. Whenever I'm working, I feel guilty for leaving her at the childcare centre (though I know she's in good hands).
At times, she tells me not to work. My heart sinks whenever I hear that but I have to put a strong front as I do not want her to feel what I'm feeling. So I will tell her that I need to work to provide her with food, milk and diapers. Note that I did not say "toys" here as I heard from Princess's teacher that once a parent told her child that and the child replied that he doesn't want any toys. Therefore I only name the necessities - things that she cannot go without for now, at least. She will then understand; or probably knows that there is no way that I can stop working; and be resigned to the fact that she has to attend school. She will then say, "Later mommy will come" - to pick her up that is.
I've been thinking of what I can do to work lesser hours or work from home but so far there's nothing I can come up with. I know I am very good with my current career and that is the safety net. I also enjoy my work thus making it more difficult for me to try out something new. *sigh*
Anyway, 2nd princess (the one in my tummy) is now 33 wks old. Oh did I mention I fell down at my workplace the other day? Fell down the steps and landed on my knees. I was so shocked, I almost cried. No one was around to assist so I had to get up on my own. Then I went to the washroom to check for bleeding. Luckily there were no bleeding and baby was moving. I realise that for this pregnancy I'm constantly tired. At times, the baby shifts a certain position and I have difficulty walking.
I'm pregnant with my 2nd baby but this is my fourth pregnancy due to 2 miscarriages. Well, I'll share that story another day.
I'm seeing my gynae next week so I will have to check with her whether this is normal. Need her to check whether I might have an early delivery with this one. I certainly hope not although friends have been saying that I look ready to burst.
Well, we'll see what gynae has to say.
Before I had Princess, I was a workaholic. After I gave birth to her, I was still a workaholic. But now that she knows how to speak and how to express her feelings, I just want to stay home with her and watch her grow. I'm afraid to miss anything for fear of regrets. Whenever I'm working, I feel guilty for leaving her at the childcare centre (though I know she's in good hands).
At times, she tells me not to work. My heart sinks whenever I hear that but I have to put a strong front as I do not want her to feel what I'm feeling. So I will tell her that I need to work to provide her with food, milk and diapers. Note that I did not say "toys" here as I heard from Princess's teacher that once a parent told her child that and the child replied that he doesn't want any toys. Therefore I only name the necessities - things that she cannot go without for now, at least. She will then understand; or probably knows that there is no way that I can stop working; and be resigned to the fact that she has to attend school. She will then say, "Later mommy will come" - to pick her up that is.
I've been thinking of what I can do to work lesser hours or work from home but so far there's nothing I can come up with. I know I am very good with my current career and that is the safety net. I also enjoy my work thus making it more difficult for me to try out something new. *sigh*
Anyway, 2nd princess (the one in my tummy) is now 33 wks old. Oh did I mention I fell down at my workplace the other day? Fell down the steps and landed on my knees. I was so shocked, I almost cried. No one was around to assist so I had to get up on my own. Then I went to the washroom to check for bleeding. Luckily there were no bleeding and baby was moving. I realise that for this pregnancy I'm constantly tired. At times, the baby shifts a certain position and I have difficulty walking.
I'm pregnant with my 2nd baby but this is my fourth pregnancy due to 2 miscarriages. Well, I'll share that story another day.
I'm seeing my gynae next week so I will have to check with her whether this is normal. Need her to check whether I might have an early delivery with this one. I certainly hope not although friends have been saying that I look ready to burst.
Well, we'll see what gynae has to say.
Thursday, January 28, 2010
New Buys!
* The silly me accidentally deleted my blog, thus having to set up the blog again and re-posting my previously saved entry. Duh!
So happy today as I’ve just received the toddleREAD/WRITE/COUNT set via home delivery. Makes me all excited to teach Princess since she’s already learning it in school. Just would like to supplement her learning and make learning as fun and enjoyable as possible. Missing her right now as she is still in school. Going to fetch her later.
Baby’s growing well inside me. Kicking and turning. Probably doing somersaults. I do feel a little concerned with this pregnancy as I feel that the baby is lower in my womb than Princess was when she was 32 weeks in my tummy. I really hope that this baby doesn’t come out early. It’s not time yet.
I’m preparing Princess towards receiving her sister. Princess is at a difficult stage right now – the terrible two stage - Oh but I love her so! She wants to be carried and wants to get her way all the time. It’s easier to control when hubby is not around. She’s daddy’s girl and she knows that she gets away with everything when daddy’s around. Sometimes I pity hubby. I know he’s tired.
I’m always so tired nowadays. I get breathless at times. Counting down the days to maternity leave.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)