Aren't we all super moms? We wake up at 6 every morning. Clean the house, get breakfast ready, bathe the kids, serve them breakfast, play with them, put them down for a nap, cook lunch, do laundry, serve lunch, clean up, wash up, take the kids with you to grocery shopping, play with them again, prepare dinner, clean up, read to the kids, put them to bed. And that's when we have OUR time. And then we sleep at 1am and wake up at 6am again and the cycle continues...
No, I am not complaining. As tiring as it is, I love being a mom. I love loving my children and I love being loved by them. But there are times when I feel like I am not doing enough for them. Like when I am doing laundry and they are playing with each other and I am thinking to myself that I could stop doing what I am doing and join them in their play. Or worst, when I take a short tv break, I feel really guilty. Why am I watching tv? I should be teaching them something, or play with them.
I have never left them to the care of anyone else just so that I can have a ME time. I know it is essential to have that. When I first had Auni, it was possible to do that. Now with 3 kids, it is almost impossible. Almost, but not entirely possible. Hats off to those women to manage to have a ME time to recharge. I have been spending too much time with my kids that if I leave them for awhile, I'll just be thinking about them all day long and won't enjoy myself.
Like when Auni goes to school, I miss her. When Ulfa and Nuha are asleep and I have already woken up, I miss carrying them and seeing their smiles. But I won't wake them up, no! I still have tons to do. Like blog...hehe...
Is there something wrong with me then for feeling this way. I feel like it is a sort of an attachment problem. Maybe I have grown too attached to my kids. I need to deal with this. Afterall, I'll be back to work next year. And honestly, that is something I am really not looking forward to.
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