On Allowing Your Child to Eat Sweet Stuff

I've had some concerned friends asking me whether I allow my child to consume lots of sweet stuff especially after reading Auni's blog and watching her video on baking (her blog is http://itsybitsyskitchen.blogspot.sg).

Truth is, I allow my child to eat chocolates and such once they are above 2 years of age. But of course, as a parent, I am concerned about their health. So, I only allow them to indulge in the treat about once a week.

Auni loves to bake. And since it is a very good hobby, I encourage her to do so. She searches the YouTube for baking ideas and will share with me what she wants to bake. For now, it is a weekly kind of thing (I hope we can still do this even when I've returned to work).

However, Auni does not always eat what she bakes. She loves the act of baking itself, but not the end product. For e.g. she prepared the No Bake Lemon Cheesecake for hubby and me but she didn't have any for herself. Reason being, she does not like cheesecakes. But she loves to make them. Auni loves chocolates. Dark chocolate or milk chocolate. I give my kids dark chocolate. We have a bar of Old Gold dark chocolate stored in our house.

I know of parents who totally do not allow their children to consume sweets or chocolates and no fast food either. And giving their child purely organic food. Like I've said, I'm not one of those parents. I allow my children the occasional indulgence. I'm sure those parents have their reasons for doing so.

What about you? Do you allow your child to eat sweet stuff?

A Letter To My Girls - Part 1

Dear Princess,

When I first laid eyes on you, you were a fragile tiny being. I looked at you and whispered into your ear, "Tiny one, this is mummy." You opened your eyes slightly as if saying, "I know, mom." Or so I like to believe.

Even though I had been talking to you and singing to you the whole nine months you were in my womb, addressing myself as Mummy to you sounded so foreign. I knew I wanted you but I was scared that I could not love you as much as you would have wanted me too. You were afterall, new to me. I worry that I had to get to know you to love you.

But you, you made it easy for me to love. How could I not love you? You feel so right in my arms. Your smell, your smile, your touch are all heavenly blissful to me. My worries were unfounded.

I remembered when I first brought you home, I kept staring at you when you were asleep. I could not leave you alone not even for a second. At night, I could not sleep for fear that I might not see you again. Each time I'll wake up and check your breathing to make sure that you are still there. In the day, I would just stare and look at you sleep and check your breathing again and again for fear of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome. Was it post-natal depression? I seriously do not know. All I know was that I wanted you so much and have learnt to love you as a part of me. Your granny had to pull me away from you and reassure me that it would alright to leave you to sleep.

As you grow, you are the light of mummy and daddy's life. Your laughter, your smile, your hug, I can never live without. Hearing you call me "Mammy" for the first time touched my heart deeply. Hearing you first say, "I love you, Mummy," was another episode that will stay etched in my mind. Your hug is like a drug I have to feed on every day.

But my darling, Mummy has this fear. I fear that one day, you'll forget to hug me. I fear that one day, you'll no longer want to say "I love you, Mummy." I fear that one day, you'll hate me for not allowing you to do the things you might want to do.

And when that day comes, even if I tell you that I forbid because I love you, your teenage heart and mind might not choose to believe.

But sweetheart, do know that I have your best interests at heart. Do believe that Mummy loves you whole-heartedly.

Should the day I fear come, I hope that opportunity arises for you to read this letter. Because I love you, my daughter and you will always be there in my heart. I promise you.

Love,
Your Mummy

On conceiving Princess

My eldest sis-in-law gave birth to a bundling baby boy on 17 February 2007. My parents, my brothers and I were elated. He is my parents' first grandchild and my first nephew. I was genuinely happy for my brother and sis-in-law. Though I wanted a child badly, having a nephew sort of lessen the pain a little.

I remember when we visited sis-in-law in the hospital, her stepmum was there. She knew about my miscarriages. Before she left, she touched my tummy and said, "Take some blessings from here and may you conceive".

Shortly after, I did conceive. But upon conceiving Princess, I was hit with a turmoil of emotions I wasn't ready to feel. I was happy that I was pregnant. But I did not want to be too happy. I was scared that if I get too happy, I might be disappointed should I miscarry. I was scared yet I do not want to think about it.

Hubby was not spared of this too. I forbid hubby to talk about it. When he tried talking about my pregnancy, I would shut him off. I remembered sis-in-law congratulated me when she learnt about my pregnancy from mum. I broke down and told her that I did not want to talk about it.

Every ultrasound scan I prayed for a heartbeat. Once we hit the 3mths mark, I was really hoping that the foetus in me was still alive. I remembered checking my breast for soreness because the soreness actually soothed me into believing that I was still pregnant. At my 3mths ultrasound scan, they could not detect the baby via the scan on my tummy so they had to do a vaginal scan. Hubby was asked to leave the room. I was so scared when the radiologists was trying to detect the foetal heartbeat. Finally the found it. I cried and they asked me why and I told them about my previous two miscarriages. They assured me that everything would be fine.

Throughout my pregnancy, I spoke about it little. Towards my full-term was when I was a little more confident.

During my 38th week scan, it was revealed that my amniotic fluid was low. I had to be induced. I was already 2cm dilated. When the broke my waterbag, I was 2.5cm dilated. Contractions was induced and within 1.5 to 2hours, I gave birth to Princess. No epidural was administered. I remembered when the gynae was stitching me up, she told me that for my next birth, I better hurry to the hospital coz I might just deliver in the taxi. The staff nurse and her commented that labour was quite fast for me.

Once stitches were done, the gynae and the nurses left the room to give hubby, Princess and I some alone time. I remembered looking into her eyes and feeling a rush of love going through me. This was what was growing inside me. She's so beautiful, so soft and so small.

Princess taught me how to love an undying love. She taught me how to feel for someone else like I've never felt before. She taught me how to care for another soul. I love her so much I could really feel it. This is what it feels like to have a child. This is love.